Relation ship & true love

 

1.       Peak beauty, fun, good health, sex and mental ability is generally between the years 18 to 22. Make the most of it, which means making sensible, intelligent lifestyle, diet, exercise and friendship choices.

2.       You learn the the thing that you need in youth much later in life.

3.       A long marriage sees many changes both external to the couple as well as internally to each individual. Both partners change physically, emotionally and mentally. The only constant is true love.

4.       True love is an active choice, not a passive feeling that happens. It is a fire that needs a spark to start. The spark is not the fire. In partner relationships that spark is most often sexual attraction, otherwise you’re simply friends. The hard truth is that the long term fire of love is forged in the furnace of sexual heat.

5.       Relationships need change to survive. You cannot know hot without cold. A couple needs to bump into the pain of loss in order to be reminded of what they have together. A relationship that’s too consistent and steady will die, only the length of time taken for that death varies. Relationships need the joys, the special moments, the times of great passion and love but seasoned with times of separation, of threat to the relationship, arguments, fights, temporary parting of ways. These changes, the highs and lows, sweep like a broom to reveal the value, the need, the love that otherwise gets hidden beneath the dust and rubbish of everyday life and routine. Without them the relationship becomes routine, taken for granted, habit. This changes it from relationship to convenience, lack of nurture, and it dies.

6.       Women are subject to many hormone cycles and physical changes, far more than men. From monthly cycles to the longer term pre-pubescent, puberty, young fertile, mid fertile, later fertile, pre-menopause, menopause, post-menopause, old age timeline, women’s hormones are a rollercoaster ride that adds a dimension and experience to life absent in men. Pregnancy and childbirth add extra physical and mental changes and challenges for women. A woman’s body is therefore constantly in change, but younger girls don’t have life’s experience to understand how short each stage of their life is. In heterosexual relationships, men don’t generally understand that they are in love with or married to, constant change and those changes will become more visible and more extreme over time. These changes that very deeply affect the female partner affect the relationship and the dynamics in the relationship. It has a wider impact in other relationships, such as work and friends and with children if they come along. Unfortunately not enough acknowledgement of, and education about these changes is available in many societies which creates many problems and stresses that otherwise could be avoided.

7.       Many people are jealous of others success and attack or undermine the successful person. A far better strategy is to be inspired by success, be encouraged that success is possible, and to learn from it.

8.       A successful life is one that is happy and fulfilled, yet most people think it’s about wealth and possessions. Wealth can make people unsuccessful and very unhappy. The best tactic is to find balance. Sufficient financial wealth to enable a successful life in the things that actually matter.

9.       While human behaviour is motivated by reward and punishment, true love is not a business or set of transactions. A relationship based on both individuals bartering what they need, can give and must receive may work on paper, but that’s a trading relationship. It’s not true love. True love is given unconditionally and received unconditionally. It’s long term and unbalanced. At one point in time, one side will be giving, the other receiving in an unbalanced “unfair” mannet, but real love lasts and later, at another point, maybe years later, that balance will be the other way around. Real love is about the value of that person to you, as a person, and caring for that person, finding your joy in their joy and vice verse. That is why real love is active, it’s an action, it something that you do, not something that you take, even though it’s an emotion and a feeling.

10.   The purpose of life is life itself. The next generation. The greater love is the love of all life on this planet. There is no meaning to you and your life, without ongoing life, without the life of others and other things. Everything you can say, do, achieve, own, experience or acquire is utterly meaningless without life and without love. If you are 100% alone in a spaceship, never to ever see another human or living thing again, nothing you think, feel, sing,say, experience or do will have any meaning at all. It will be utterly empty. So live your life valuing all other lives, especially the long term health and survival on this planet. Your meaning, who you are, completely depends on it.